How to Meet and Hang Out With the Stars: A Totally Unauthorized Guide by Bret Saxon and Steve Stein (Citadel Press, 230 pgs., $12.95)

There's only one word to describe this handbook for sneaking into celebrity functions and haunting superstar haunts: pathetic. In their celebrity psychosis, Saxon and Stein come across as only slightly more benign versions of John Hinckley and Mark David Chapman--held in check, perhaps, because the famous objects of their pathological affections are so much more indiscriminate. From Don Knotts to Don Ho, Francis Ford Coppola to Andrew Dice Clay, all it takes to rate in the Saxon-Stein superstar pantheon is any form of celebrity, coupled with a willingness to sign autographs and pose for pictures with intrusive jerks like themselves. Copiously illustrated with bleary photos of one or the other (but never both) of the authors standing near enough to a famous face to pretend they know the person it belongs to, this "how-to" is padded out to publication length by over a hundred pages of something called a "Celebrity Index," in which Saxon and Stein rank the stars based on how cooperative they were when the authors accosted them. No wonder so many celebrities are prone to punch their "fans" these days. Here's hoping some semi-famous figure gets around to kicking these two very deserving butts in the very near future. 

There is only one way to describe this review of Steve Stein and Bret Saxon and their great book….A crock of bull by an envious guy who has never laid eyes on a celebrity in his life. These guys are 100% the real McCoy and they schmoozed their way into the hearts of many celebrities. If you

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I know that they DO NOT sneak into any celebrity events. They are on the guest list of every function in Hollywood. Your celebrity king Elvis Preston King also knows lots of celebrities. While Steve Stein and Bret Saxon have never introduced me to a celebrity, they read or heard about your celebrity king somewhere and schmoozed there way into my Rolls Royce stretched limo and her fully stocked bar a many a night. Needless to say when the boys hung out with Elvis Preston King the girls were fighting over the boys. We had a lot of great times. 

Somebody needs to kick the butt of this low life envious critic who criticized my little buddies. I have an autographed copy of their book “How to Meet and Hang Out With the Stars” an it is one of my most prized books. 

Elvis Preston King… The world’s number 1 celebrity king with the girls of the world.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elvis Preston King is the world’s most renowned and respected playboy. His job is picking up and seducing classy young women globally for the gentleman conoseiur who realizes that there is more to life than just accumulating money and the same old same old boring wife. You can email him at loverboybachelor@yahoo.com or visit  http://bachelortours.blogspot.com  and http://www.msnusers.com/BachelorDreamTours